Sarah Writes a Letter to the FRO

Pretty much everyone who is not on a tourist visa has to register with the Foreigners Registration Office. Indian bureaucracy is simply astounding. And not in a good way. Registration requires several visits of multiple hours each and the provision of numerous copies of every legal document in your possession. Not to mention, you must write a letter to the FRO requesting that they perform the service you need. Melinda and I had registered previously, and then we had to extend our current visas. This is a whole other process involving roughly a month of waiting and trips to several establishments all over the city. After that, we journeyed back to the FRO so that they could stamp our registration papers and make our new visas officially official or whatever. Honestly, I'm not sure any of this matters because no one has ever checked to make sure I am registered. We do it just to be safe.

Anyway, the madam of FRO office stamped our papers (after only 1 hour!), and then informed us that responsibility for our address had been shifted to a different FRO location and we needed to go there and have that office and confirm that our registration had been transferred. *Sigh*.  Madam assured us that our information would be mailed to the new location that day or the next. So, a couple days later (today) we went to the new location and attempted to do as we had been told. The man there said, predictably in retrospect, that he had received none of our information and he would need copies of every legal document in our possession as well as two passport sized photos, and a letter of request stating that we would like a transfer of our registration to that office. We were super annoyed. It may not sound that bad in this blog, but trust me if you waste weeks of your life doing something pointless, and then face the possibility of having to do the whole thing again, you will be annoyed too. The part that really got me was the letter. I didn't really want to move to that office, I just wanted to be done with the FRO forever.. And why on earth should I have to request that you do your job?

In the end a wrote a polite informative letter. This is the one I wanted to write:

Dear Sir:
Since the government of your fine state is forcing me to transfer my registration to this most magnificent office, I, Sarah Beth Blake, passport number *********, visa number ********, a citizen of the United States of America, and resident at (this flat) at (this address), do most humbly request and desire THAT YOU DO YOUR FREAKING JOB and transfer my registration to this office.
                                         
                                                                                                      Yours ever so sincerely,
                                                                                                                   Sarah Beth Blake
                                                                                                                    16/09/2011

Only in my dreams... After going to back to our original FRO office and trying to figure out why they hadn't received our files, we discovered that all that was sent was a transfer request, but not the copies of documents. So, then we went back, gave the man what he wanted and he signed his name. However, we're not done yet. At some point, I stopped listening, because it was almost 3 and I hadn't eaten yet, but I gather we have to go back and complete the process after Durga Puja a giant holiday that's coming up in October. 
                                           

Melinda and Sarah's Tuesday Adventures

Here's a sample of the randomness of my life.

Late August:
One day, as Melinda and I were returning from a trip, we got into the car and had the following conversation with our friend.

Friend: There is just a small problem.
Us: What?
Friend: The brakes don't work.

Fortunately, what he meant was the brakes are starting to have problems. All we needed was some brake fluid.

Two weeks ago:
We discovered the Freshman aka "Freshers" social night. As Melinda and I were leaving our Bangla class one Tuesday night, we heard what sounded like an outdoor concert and decided to investigate. What we discovered confirms the validity of my personal philosophy that one should always, always, always, follow the music.  There was a small lot with a stage that had a huge banner which read FRESHERS. Several people (presumably the freshers) were standing around or attempting to score soccer goals. Representatives of each of the university's departments came and gave performances, usually accompanied by loud music and always with a fog machine. Some boys from the physical education department got up there in uncomfortably short shorts and did some impressive yoga and strength moves. One of them put his foot all the way behind his head. While it's true the performers were quite strong and flexible, I now have absolutely no desire to participate in any physical education program, so I'm not sure they achieved their goal... Another boy from a department which I can't recall got up and flung himself about the stage with great enthusiasm to very fast music and techno lights. The worm was involved, as it should have been. I believe Melinda has video clips of some of these performances which will be uploaded shortly, or not so shortly depending on the speed of my internet connection. Oh my goodness. People. ALWAYS. Follow. The Music.

Last Week:
Last Tuesday, we discovered the awesomeness of Mr. Kumar our Bangla teacher. It was Teacher's Day, so some of the Korean students collected money and bought gifts and food for a class party. (Side note: Koreans are possibly the sweetest people ever. I have yet to meet one I don't like.) We sang Happy Teacher's Day instead of Happy Birthday, took a class picture, and talked about what we liked best about our class. Then, as we were discussing Mr. Kumar's excellent art skills - he's always drawing pretty pictures on the chalk board - we discovered that he also studied under one of India's best pantomime artists. Obviously, a demonstration was necessary. He did walking, stairs, smoking, drinking tea, and an impersonation of a thief climbing a rope, among others. He actually is pretty good. 

Today:
I very nearly witnessed a death while in an auto on the way home. After class, I went to the mall to get some dinner, and then got in an auto. Normally, the 5 minute trip to my house is uneventful. Today, however, the driver was impatient and mad at the world. He zoomed off at the first opportunity only to be forced to slow down by the inevitable traffic jam. The auto was stuck behind a taxi that was trying to turn, so the driver laid on his horn and did his best to get around it. But, he misjudged the distance between his auto and the taxi, and hit it. Thankfully, we were going pretty slow. We got by and proceeded to barrel down the road. Until, we came around a curve and an old man appeared in front of us. We came within inches of hitting him at quite a high speed. I'm not convinced the man would have died, but it would have done some damage for sure. Then, the auto driver stopped so he could engage in a shouting match with the man he nearly ran over due to his reckless driving. It was really irritating. If you're not going to apologize, just shut up and keep going. I was greatly relieved when I finally made it home in one piece and without witnessing anything traumatic.

Apparently, Tuesday is the day for strange things to happen to us. Only the first incident occurred on a different day. 

Sarah Attends an American Town Hall Meeting

Melinda is out of town this week at meeting I have no part in. That means I have the whole house to myself! Woo! Anyway, that explains why Melinda's name does not appear in the title of this post.

Today, the US Consulate in Kolkata hosted a Town Hall meeting for American citizens. A friend of mine heard about it, and we were like hey a chance to meet more Americans and get free food. Let's do this thing. Four of us went. Basically what happens at these meetings is representatives from the consulate come tell you about the services they can provide and tips for staying safe in the city. It's fairly boring and mostly stuff you already know. But THEN, they open the floor for questions and that, my friends, makes the whole thing worth your time. The first attendee to ask a question began with this long winded speech about how there were elderly Americans who were home bound and had no internet she wanted to know what the consulate had offer them. It was kind of hard to follow her and ascertain what her point was exactly, but basically she wanted the consulate to establish a daycare center for the elderly. The speaker politely informed her that he neither the money nor the staff to provide such a service. Another man complained the education systems in India and America are quite different and wanted to know what the consulate could do to provide American schooling for his children. It seems to me this is something you should take into consideration before you move. But what do I know? I heard a lady sitting in front of me mutter, "Go back to America." under her breath. Again, the speaker politely recommended some homeschooling websites and schools run by NGOs the man could try. My personal favorite was the man who said he had two homes and was afraid of being robbed. He then asked if the consulate's security services could provide a guard for his personal residences. The security guy did an admirable job of laughing in attendee's face, though I think he really wanted to. His response: I am the department. So, I cannot personally come and patrol your house. My thoughts are, if you can afford two homes, one of which is in a very nice part of Kolkata, you can afford to hire a guard. A lady in the audience suggested that this man go and acquaint himself with the local police so that they would know him personally if he ever had a problem. Then, an Indian-American audience member made the comment that this plan probably wouldn't work as people don't normally do that and you can wait all day at the station before some will agree to meet you. (I happen to think this man is correct.) The woman apparently was seriously offended that anyone might contradict her. She proceeded to yell at the guy for thinking she was stupid, and then basically said that if he wouldn't condescend to visit the police station, maybe the police would not want to come to his house. So there. The man dealt with the situation quite well, and simply said that they would have to agree to disagree. (Wherever you are sir, I applaud you.) There were some more questions and a quiz about random American trivia. I now know that the Styx started out in Chicago, and Wyoming is the least populous state in America, with about 500,000 residents. I'm totally moving there when I get back. Afterwards, we had tea and refreshments. It was mostly Indian food, which I have to admit was slightly disappointing, but they did have rolls. I hadn't had rolls in almost a year, and I had forgotten how much I like them. We did meet other Americans and found out that an American Center exists where they occasionally have entertaining events. I liked it on facebook so it would keep me posted.

Melinda and Sarah Go Wading Through Villages

Last week, Melinda and I went visiting in villages. We went with a translator and two guides who know the area. It is currently rainy season and in the area we visited the rains have been quite heavy. To the right is a picture of one road we drove down on the way.  We were in a van that was really high off the ground and sometimes I wasn't sure we would make it. The next day, we had a little bit of engine trouble, and Melinda and I were thinking "Well, we sunk the van..." I feel like if I had been walking and stepped in pothole I might have gone completely underwater. But maybe that's an exaggeration. There were men fishing on the edges because their ponds had overflowed and since the road was slightly slanted one side had a current.  Fortunately, other roads were not that bad.
When we got to the villages, our guide said, "Now, this is going to be a little muddy is that ok?" Yeah. Sure, we can handle mud.  By the end of the day, we had mud absolutely everywhere. At one point we were wading through water and mud up to our knees and that was the "good road". The other roads don't bear thinking about...

Our guides were extremely concerned about us lest we should fall and world come crashing to an end. They were always asking if we were ok and one of the ladies was holding onto me at almost all times. At first, the lady would hold my arm right by the elbow, which is really awkward to begin with and as time passed, her grip would get tighter and tighter until it became painful. I was thinking, um... this is actually making it more difficult to stand up. Finally, I said "It would be better if you held my hand." Melinda has better balance and walks faster than I do, so a lot of the guides' concern was focused on me. There were many conversations, in Bangla, about my ability to walk, including the following:

A: Is Sarah doing ok?

B: Yes, she's doing much better now.

Sometimes, I was doing well and sometimes, I was decidedly not doing well. We had a lot of fun though. We plan to go out visiting again in future, but probably after the rainy season.

Melinda and Sarah Embrace the Rainy Season

Melinda and I have done a lot of traveling recently. On the first of this month we went to Bangalore, which I always try to spell Banglalore, but that is not correct. We spent 2 1/2 days with some friends of ours. They live just outside of the city in a typical American-style house located in a gated community. It was quiet, there were kids riding scooters down empty streets. It felt so much like the US it was weird. My favorite part of the house by far is that nearly every room had a bay window with curtains in front of it, that created perfect reading nooks. If I ever get my dream house it's going to include a giant Beauty and the Beast inspired library, reading nooks, and a couch swing. Yup. A couch, attached to the ceiling, that swings. (I'm pretty sure that's not technically a sentence, but I don't care.) Also, the temperature in Bangalore was about 75 degrees in the daytime. Melinda and I woke up shivering every morning. It was wonderful. Bangalore also has Taco Bell! It doesn't really taste like America, but after a year without it, Indian Taco Bell was great. I had a chicken quesadilla and a crunchy chicken taco. They don't serve beef.

We returned home late Friday night and then left Saturday to go work on a housing project we're helping with. The goal is to build sturdy houses for people who lost their homes in a hurricane a few years ago. On this trip we were surveying to see who needed help the most. That was an adventure. It's rainy season here, so the ground is just mud.  Melinda and I slipped, slid, and stumbled across paths and down mud coated stair steps consisting of single bricks, with the entire village following behind. Some of the homes we are going to rebuild (and relocate) are presently sitting in ponds. And many are made of bamboo poles and tarp. It definitely makes you rethink your definition of house. The houses we're providing are really just four brick walls, a window, a door, and a tin roof, situated on top of a 3 foot high concrete foundation. And the whole thing is 10 1/2 by 12 square feet. That may not seem like much, but it's a big step up from what the families have now. We may also add a small verandah but only if the budget allows it. The survey trip lasted 2 days. By some miracle, we managed not to fall on our faces and returned home Saturday night.

Before I left, my aunt gave me an India travel guide. The picture of my city was a of a rickshaw puller pulling his rickshaw down a road through water that reached his knees. Why that picture was used in a travel guide is still a mystery to me, but I have now witnessed it in real life. Sunday and Monday it rained all day and flooded some of the lowest parts of the city. For example, this road in front of our supervisor George's house.

We took a bus over there not suspecting anything as our part of town is fine, and then realized that we would have to cross two rivers to get to his apartment building. At first, we tried to roll up our pant legs and stay dry, but a then a car passed and created a wave, so our efforts were in vain. Fording the road was kinda fun though. Definitely a new experience. We were able to borrow dry clothes from George's roommate Antu so we didn't have spend our entire time there in soaked pants. George let us use his car and driver to get home. On the way, we passed some kids literally swimming in the road. Epic. Gross, because I don't even want to think about what was on that road. But Epic. 

Melinda, Sarah, and Their Friend Go On A Light Bulb Hunt

Yup, that's right. Sadly, as you get older you have to trade in Easter egg hunts for light bulb hunts. Unfortunately, I was never very good at finding things.

Tonight, our friend invited us to go to New Market, an endless maze of tiny shops where you can find almost anything you need for cheap prices, and enjoy the carnival-like atmosphere. If you go at night the disco lights are even more vivid. First, we went to some shoe shops so our friend could get a gift. I love shoes. And my feet are tiny which works out well since I finally live in a place where most of the women are my size. Who knew that would ever happen? Anyway, the point is I got some new shoes! Converse for $8. In this country, I wear a size 35. I'm not sure if that makes me feel better than wearing a size 3 in the States or not... After I bought shoes, we went on the quest for the light bulbs. All we had was the actual bulb we needed to replace. So our friend went around showing it to different light fixture sellers. And they kept pointing us to different places. Along the way, our friend bought us these awesome chicken and egg wraps. They make this flat bread and fry an egg on it, then they add chicken, onions, and an amazing spicy sauce. I think it's my favorite Indian food so far. We also found ice cream and a bouncy ball with a smiley face inside that flashes multi-colored lights when you bounce it. It's kind of embarrassing how excited I was about that thing. Oh, we did finally find the light bulbs, and then we went home. Hopefully, another Day of Fun is around the corner.

Sarah Goes Shoe Shopping... Sadly, Melinda Misses Out

You may recall that my shoes were stolen recently. Thus, I have been on a quest to find comfortable new ones. Indian women do not believe in comfortable shoes. The soles are thin, hard, and not made for people who have to walk in them. Finally, I found some shoes that a little padding, and I bought them. But, they turned out to be slightly too small, and gave me blisters. So, I took them back. I just wanted a bigger size, but the next size up was too big, so I asked if I could return them. The first guy didn't understand, so he got a younger guy to come help me. He said I couldn't return the shoes, but I could exchange them for any other pair. When I went to try the shoes on, he insisted upon helping me put them on my feet. Think Cinderella. I hate feet. I don't want anyone to have to mess with mine, so I tried to do it myself. He sad, and I quote, "Oh no madame, this is our job, and we LOVE do it." Ok then, I glad you do. It was pretty awkward. He even put back on the shoes I already owned. I don't think that's part of his job... I have a new pair of shoes, but I have no idea if they fit correctly. I'm still working up the courage to wear them for an extended time period. Oh life.